There are three categories to tackle at the second draft

1.   Things to Remove

2.   Things to Add

3.   Things to get Right (Techniques)

Removals

What are some things that you might want to look into removing in the second draft when you have finished the first

1.   Theme Zombies: where certain parts of the novel signify some kind of theme, bigger meaning.

what you are wedded to and believe it prevents you from changing the point/placement in that section of the novel

-        Example: I want the second chapter to signify/illustrate a theme – don’t think that the theme is a boat anchor that can’t be adjusted/pulled up/altered/modified

Illustrate the theme someplace else in a better way

2.   Similar to a theme is a message

3.   Change of Setting or Scope – usually, in this case, there’s a bigger issue: Usually something needs added to the story whenever not much is changing

-        You usually want a smooth running car, not a derelict museum piece – don’t slow the story pace down

4.   Another Error is Starting the Story too Early

         You want In Media Res – work the backstory in later – it isn’t

necessary to say, “but I have to explain how …”

5.   Too Long a Story Time Duration

-        OK in first Draft – You’re trying to get the whole story down

-        Second Draft – use only what you need – condense the time frame

-        Streamlining usually make the story more dramatic

6.   Excess major characters

-        You think: “I have to bring this guy on…” That’s a clue that, maybe you don’t need him at all

7.   Too many Moves and Locations – OK in the first draft because you’re exploring things and you want to signal something. However, what is probably happening is that you just need to get the story clearer and then the need for the move disappears

8.   Too much Trust

- in a Genre: it “requires” you do certain things at certain points in a story. Think “What if I approach that in a more flexible way?”

- Too much trust in writing theories, especially multiple theories at the same time – each is fine individually, but many don’t meld well

9. Too many machinations/dominant side characters

          - This usually appears when the protagonist is passive and “watching” other

characters

          - Why? This starts to distance the readers from what is happening and the

protagonist

- Give the protagonist more information, options, support – Allow Them to

Take over the role you had assigned to a side character

Additions

When you remove extraneous parts of story, you have room for additions

1.      Ask: What could I add to this story that would make it stronger?

- Not enough change of setting or scope?

- Ask: could I add something that would make the “world itself” be at risk? (a

magical world)

- Ask: What happens if the hero doesn’t succeed, i.e., what are the “stakes”

at risk

- Make the stakes concrete to a significant character in the story

- At least one character truly depends on the protagonist “getting it right”

2.      Add a main/important character to represent a key element

-        Do this especially when the key element keeps appearing as a factor in the story, but it is just “occurring in the protagonist’s head”

3.      Create a character that embodies that concept – this forces the reader to “get it”

4.      Can you foreshadow it earlier? Use Dreams/Visions/Advice?

5.      Add a ticking clock

-        If the protagonist doesn’t take action quickly, either something bad will happen or good won’t

-        Suddenly, it forces the protagonist into a different mode – either he takes action, or the world will be different- especially is it results in a better world

Techniques & Technical Elements

These are often the things you don’t have to get right in the first draft

Many successful writers will not try to get them right in the first draft, often because they don’t yet

know enough about the whole story yet know if/when/where in the story to place them

The first draft can be messy, incomplete, rambling, but these need attention in the second

1.   Write down your character reactions in a revision sheet to the things that happen throughout the 1st draft story – now, make them explicit

a.   She felt …

b.   Explain what events “feel” like & what they “Mean” to main character

c.    Constantly explain to the reader what is happening inside the protagonist  -If do, will have a  much stronger draft

2.   Use “blue pen” to mark famous novel – one you like – or one that’s really successful

-Underline every time the writer explains what the main character is

feeling or thinking about

on-going events

- The blue pen will run out of ink by the novel’s end

- This is the approach you want for the next draft of your novel

- Put on the page what the character is thinking and feeling

3.   Make a Plot/Desire Summary Sheet for each Scene in 2nd Draft Review

-        Character wants “x” do they do “y”

-        It’s easy for you, but it may not be for the reader to figure out if you have not written it on the page

-        For every scene/chapter, make summary of  Character causality – what is happening & why it’s happening

-        Use: When ___, because she wants ___, she decides to ___

Example: when we get to chapter two, because the character us worried

about ___ or

Afraid of ___ or is hoping to get ___, she decides to ___

-        You will not be able to do this for every scene, like

Multiple time, the character will be passive

That of OK in a limited number of time - Very limited

Particularly towards the end, when the villain is finally revealing their True plan or during all

the different plot threads finally coming together - When characters have to rush to keep up with the story events

-        Why? – If you can spot these instances and change them so the character is

4.   Actually choosing to do something – the story can be a lot stronger

-        And – the story can be probably be simpler

-        You can probably remove quite a lot of elements of the story

5.   It will reveal the story you were trying to tell at the beginning

-        It reveals the heart of the story

6.   Make sure you got on the page all the things you actually really do want to talk about

Hinting at things is almost never effective – a large proportion of people won’t get it

ie – blank space on the page can be used for clarity, but is useless for input

The Iceberg Theory of Hemingway – you suggest it and the reader get’s it -  is Bunk